Kym

I lost my Mom on April 16, 2024. Something told me to check the obituaries. She was there.

My not identical twin sister, Kay Ward Anderson, did something to me several years ago that kept me from seeing her. I was the only daughter in her life for all of my married life, more. than 38 years. She, nor my other sister, bothered to visit or care for her. I put my original art all thru their house. Kay gave her expensive gifts but never bothered to come to see her. Tammy left a very long time ago. She had this antique doll she gave Kay to have repaired. All she talked about was how she wanted it back. I took a 4 foot tall pastel I did of her doll in an old high chair I found at an antique store that was on masonite framed with a 900.00 frame and put it on her wall. She told me often she wished that Kay would visit instead of sending her things she did not even want. I was there on holidays and other days, living only 45 miles way. I was her protector. For many years that was what I did, driving the 45 miles to her house and 45 miles back. But in 2018 I was afraid to go see her. I would go in to the details of what Kay did to me to cause that fear and what my Dad did to me, but Kay is a very rich person because of her second marriage and I do not have the money to protect my truth here. She is busy living her rich affluent life in Hawaii.

(Me wearing Mom's favorite color)

Little did I know nor did anyone tell me, including my own father, Bill Ward, my Mom was in hospice care more than a year. I had been sending her Christmas cards and photos of me, hoping she would reach out to me. I suspect t they were not given to her. In March I sent an email to Kay telling her that Mom's friend had passed away, one month BEFORE Mom died. I got nothing back at all. 

So after I saw the obituaries I called the funeral home and found they buried my Mom the day before. Mom told me to check the obituaries. I was told my father, Bill Ward, walked in to the funeral home and told them he only had one daughter and she was flying in from Hawaii. My birth certificate says I am her daughter and I can provide that as proof. My Mom died alone while I was only 45 miles away because they hate me so. I had to ask the lady what my Mom looked like in her casket. The nice lady told me. She was buried in a pink casket wearing a blue dress. Pink was her favorite color. Blue is my favorite color. After I got my composure I got myself ready and picked her irises from my yard, wore a pretty blue dress and went searching for her grave. I remembered her telling me she didn't want to have Dad buried too far from the house and I knew there was a cemetery close to their house. Sure enough, .3 of a mile past their house there was a green tent with her fresh grave covered in a pink spray of flowers. My Mom wanted me to see her fresh grave. She was protecting me from them or she would have told me she was sick and that she had died. I know she was. I suspect she asked to see me and they told her I did not want to see her. If they did that, it is really mean of them. 

I fell apart and then sat and talked to her, telling her I was so sorry  was not there to help her and that I would have been. I recorded my visit. 

Now I am the only one who visits her grave. When I go see her the fresh flowers I took her they are still there and are dead. 

If my family wanted to hurt me in the worst possible way, they truly did that. After all of the things I did for both of my parents and Dad knows what I did all those years, it is the worst thing you can do. I also suspect that all of my art has now been destroyed. I gave them the very first watercolor painting I did after I switched from pastels to watercolors. When I think of that it breaks my heart. So they succeeded. 

What I can take peace in is this. My Mom knew I loved her. I look like her. I have her curls as you can see from the photo above. My twin sister, Kay, cannot stand next to me because she has turned in to this wrinkly old woman. That is what she looked like the last time I saw her. I never told either of my parents the horrible things she did to me in high school and in college. I was afraid to do it because they would not have believed me. But I can tell you it would make you cringe if you knew. I kept her secrets all of my life to protect her too. But now when she looks in the mirror she is no longer seeing that pretty face everyone told her she had. Yes, I am getting older too, but I can show my face to the world. I am a talented lady and she has been jealous of that all of her life. But all that I just wrote did not give her the right to do what she did to me. I was my Mom's daughter and my Dad and Kay had the responsibility to tell me about my mom. 

Now should either of them see this and want to come after me, this time I will be ready. But they really won't get anything because I don't have anything but all the art I created all of these years and I am quite sure they would not wish to have that nor hear me finally say what was done to me. 

I will be painting again. I am just getting myself back to where I can pick up a brush. My Mom would want me to do that I am quite sure. 

RIP Mom 

I love you 

My Mom did not get an obituary with real words on it. I wrote one for her. You can click on the link below and read it. 

This is a photo of me when I was 34 and one of my Mom when she was 44. We look alike.